Revealing 3 tips to excel your Influencing Skills

In your daily life, and in work, influencing people is a must-have skill.

Influencing is an art of effecting how others think (and finally act) towards a particular purpose. Influencing can be when you are at home, getting your spouse to agree on a particular purchase, or getting the children to complete their project. At work, influencing is like the number one task – selling products to potential customers, getting the boss to approve that big project of yours, and even negotiating team mates on a favor on a particular task.

Most importantly, influencing is done without authority. That means, you make someone believe that what you are saying is right, hence he should do as you suggest. You are not influencing when you are giving instructions (read: boss, parent, senior in the job).

The most important party to consider when you are planning to influence is – the other party. What YOU think, is not as important as what HE thinks. Because the aim, is to change how HE thinks. Try to look from his point of view, and answer this question “What’s in it for me?”. “Me” here, as in, “him”, of course. Think about what benefits he will get, if he does agree with you. If you can show that to him, influencing can be very easy.

Here I share 3 tips on influencing people.

1. Build relationships.

You want to influence someone without using authority, so the first thing you need to do is, build a good relationship.

Generally, building relationships is easy, when you are interested in someone, and expresses that interest to him. That involves active listening, asking good, open questions, and relating to what he is thinking. When someone feels that you have interest in him, he will be more open, and keener to create a connection with you, ready to hear your thoughts.

Also, use common courtesy. Be polite, sociable and friendly. Smile.

Other ways to build relationships include:

  • Notice positive behaviours or changes in the other person – comment on that
  • Give compliments and praises
  • Read their body language and adapt how you speak

Build rapport and make him feel a connection to you. Do this genuinely, because everyone has his own story to tell, and his side of the story is important too.

2. Social proof.

This is where we use others’ acts to influence people.

“Others” here may mean those familiar to someone, or those he feels similar to him. Or someone he respects.

For example, when seeing an expensive product on your own (alone), you may not feel the urgency to buy it. But if a few respected colleagues, or someone close to you just bought it too, that curiosity to purchase it may grow.

That’s why we see “Other people also likes…” columns while shopping online. These suggestions (exists with the social media algorithm) appear to you, to utilize the power of social proof, and influence your buying.

So, when you want to influence someone, pay attention to what his surrounding people are doing too. You could use that someone’s influence towards him.

3. Credibility and reputation.

As said earlier, influencing does not involve the use of authority.

However, using credibility and reputation is something else. People can be influenced by experts, believing his words and suggestions.

There are many experiments of changing people’s mindsets by experts, influencing their behaviours and ultimately effecting the results. A good example is the placebo effect, where medical patients are given something like a “real” medical treatment — but in actual, does not contain an active substance meant to affect health, like a dummy treatment. Researchers use placebos during studies to help them understand what effect a new drug or some other treatment might have on a particular condition. Around one third of the patients taking a placebo may get better. Believing in experts, it shows even the body’s chemistry can create effects similar to medication. A classic case of mind over matter.

So, as an influencer, having credibility and good reputation is important, too. Where can you find your own credibility? Look at your qualifications, your educational background, expertise, or experience.

So those were 3 tips on influencing people. Different situations will require different methods of influencing. We’ll look at more influencing methods later.

What is your favourite influencing method?

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Four points to remember to resolve conflicts like a winner

Everyone will face conflicts in one time or the other.

Many people try to avoid conflicts, not having the energy or skill to manage them.

However, sometimes, conflicts should be taken heads on, because more often than not, conflicts arise from solid reasons.

It is how we react from it that matters. Here are 4 important points one must remember when dealing with conflicts.

Communicate openly and compromise

The key to resolving key is to communicate about it. That means to talk about it, and listen to what the other party has to say for himself. He most likely has a good reason of creating the conflict. It is vital to discuss it with an open mind. Sometimes, you may need to compromise your own beliefs, in order to successfully resolve the conflict and achieve a solution.

Focus on final aim

Managing conflicts is never about winning. It is basically a road to go through, in order to achieve a mutual understanding, and agreeing to proceed with further steps. Sometimes, you may be right, sometimes the other party may be right and not you. Be ready to listen to the other party’s concerns – you might even find a richer solution after considering his thoughts!

Also, sometimes discussions go off track, especially when things get emotional, or upsetting pasts are being brought up. In such cases, steer back to the right direction, ignore irrelevant issues or pasts, and focus the time and energy on how we can accomplish results.

Keep calm and stay positive

Discussions may switch to quarrels, when blaming or anger arises. Remind yourself (and the other person, if you can) to stay calm, and stay positive. Find a good time and place to do your battle (read: discuss). Don’t approach someone when he is busy, or tired, or hungry, even. If the discussion is moving towards a heated direction, call for a break, and come back when you’re both more rational.

Try to empathize

Conflicts arise when two (or more) different parties have different concerns. Each member would feel that their own concern is the more important one. During discussions, listen actively, and try to put yourself in the other person’s shoe. Create a comfortable discussion – listen actively, ask open questions and opinion, and do not interrupt. Find the best way to meet each parties’ concern, if they are valid.

Not able to voice up your bright ideas? Try these 3 tips.

A lot of us Asians were brought up taught to be polite, and to keep opinions to ourselves, so as not to create conflict.

The term to give face is Asian origin, which means to treat others with respect, and not to dishonour someone, and that someone includes ourselves. We do not want to lose face, saying something stupid.

We also tend to speak at a quieter voice, avoiding attention invited by louder voice.

Unfortunately, both of these traits make Asians appear too quiet, opinion-less, and boring, to the extent of dumb.

Of course, in reality, we are not dumb, and of course we do have strong opinions about a lot of things, but we Asians prefer to keep them to ourselves, do not feel the necessity to voice it out.

This characteristic is counter productive if we want to create the impression of someone capable and intelligent.

Also, introverts have more difficulty speaking out, as it is not in their nature. Speaking out comes with practice.

Here are some tips:

1.       Broaden your knowledge to general topics – news, sports, politics, social issues, etc. Use these topics to do small talk with any random person you meet – the person standing next to you in the shopping queue, the office janitor, your neighbour. Doing small talk helps build confidence.

2.       Talk loudly when you are alone. I do this often when I drive home. Learn to speak from the stomach, and not the mouth. Listen to how you sound, the voice, pitch, volume, language. Improve what you feel is necessary.

3. Be active in meetings. Start voicing up smaller, lighter opinions, topics, in order to practice speaking out. When you agree to something, say it out loud, with some short comments. Once you’ve gained more confidence, make attempts to suggest ideas, or ask questions. They may start simple, but your ideas can get bigger once you are more confident.

Do you have other tips on increasing the confidence to speak up? Do share with all of us.

Why listening and watching are the best tools to lead, an advise from Sir Alex Ferguson

A lot of people are so eager to prove they are clever, that they speak more than they listen. This is where extraordinary leaders differ. Leaders listen and watch more than they speak.

Sir Alex Ferguson talks about in the earliest pages of his book, “Leading”. Who doesn’t know Sir Alex Ferguson – the man behind the numerous and continuous wins for the Manchester United team. This man has shown superior leadership, with extremely good results.

He and many other leaders can not emphasize more on the importance of listening and watching. These are two things all must learn and practice, in order to gain more information, connect and excel.


  • Pay attention. In conversations, words comprise only 7% of a message. The rest of the message is conveyed through the tone of voice (38%), while body language accounts a huge 55%. Learn to read body language. Don’t interrupt – when you speak, you stop listening.
  • Pause before responding. Let the other person completely finish. Give time to digest what he just said. Also, pausing indicates to the other person that you do consider what he just said.
  • Ask questions to clarify. Don’t make wrong assumptions, make sure what you heard was understood correctly. If something was misunderstood, questioning can correct it. Questioning also reassures the other person that you are listening.


  • Step away from the hustle, and look at things from a bigger, higher point of view. You may notice the root cause of a particular problem – something that could not be seen when you too focused to the problem in front of you.
  • Watching how people work. or communicate as a whole, can also give hints on how they are doing. There may be signs of a communication breakdown, or an unspoken issue, which can only be interpret through observations.
  • Again, learn at least the basics of body language – what calls for defensive, openness, honesty, angry, lying. Body language tells you a lot about what’s going on.

What is Imaginary Audience and what’s it got to do with your teenager and social media?

With the COVID19 pandemic and the continuation of online homeschooling (PdPR) this year, I have had to give access to gadgets more frequently to my children. In nature, I am one of the parents who do not approve screen time for children – I do not install games to my smartphone, they are not informed of my smartphone’s passcode, and I reduce my own screen time at night when I am at home with them (to set an example).

Now, the new norm is online schooling (which basically is handing out homework online, with hopes that the students understand attached videos – though the teachers are not to blame here, mind you, they are just as beaten as parents are, but I blame the system’s response to the circumstances). I find myself obligated to hand smartphones for them to complete their homework on a daily basis. And now that they have access, they suddenly have freedom to explore more – surfing, Youtube, games, chatting with friends. And since all their other friends are doing it, too, I fear my previous control efforts will be futile.

In an effort to embrace this new norm while protecting my children, I am trying to understand more on what’s out there, and what I can do to make the best of the current situation.

Along the way, I came upon a book “Raising A Screen Smart Kid – Embrace the good and Avoid the Bad in the Digital Age” by Julianna Miner. This book starts with the same concerns as mine, over the dangers of early screen time in childhood. Although it is a little away from what I had hoped (I was looking for something for younger children (my children are in early elementary school, while this book was more to effects of social media to adolescents), it was indeed insightful. It begins with explaining about natural teenager psychology and self-esteem, peer pressure, facts about the social media and the effects, and moves on by how to protect them from dangerous online relationships, depression and anxiety, online bullying, digital addition, and so on.

While this article is not going to be a book review, there is an old concept which drew my attention.

This was the first time I come across the Imaginary Audience concept, introduced by David Elkind in 1967. The Imaginary Audience is the condition where adolescents believe that others are always watching and scrutinizing them. For example, a high school girl feels that everyone in school notices her new pimple, and are talking about it furiously, when in actual, no one really notices it, and even if they do, not everyone really cares.

Another concept is the Personal Fable, where teenagers believe that they are special and unique, but nobody understands them, and everything is awful. As teenagers, they tend to believe they are The One, hence the many teenager flicks play around teenage rebellion, and becoming heroes, such as Harry Potter, or Katniss Everdeen. “You don’t understand me!” sounds familiar, right?

These two notions have been studied in textbooks on adolescent development widely, and is thought to be the reasons for adolescents’ self-consciousness and risk-taking (thinking they are invincible). 

Raising A Screen Smart Kid points out, social media makes the Imaginary Audience become real. Whatever activities you are doing in social media (commenting, sharing etc) is seen by so many people, even globally, and can even create permanent damages. 

The book proceeds to give several tips on how to address this issue, how to prepare adolescents before they begin social media activities, or making mistakes that may leave a permanent scar. And the best part is how to actually use the social media to the advantage of the adolescents. You’ll have to read the book to find out (no, this not a paid advertisement).

I love this book because it explains the dangers and the whys, and finally suggests practical advise on how parents and help their adolescents avoid making mistakes, and instead, take advantage of the digital age.

No matter what the book says, there are still several general rules for screen time that is suggested by many professionals, among are:

  • Consider children’s level of maturity before starting screen time, evaluating his ability to response to the exposures on the internet and social media
  • Set time limits – all gadgets in parents’ room at bedtime
  • Parents must have passwords to all accounts

Parenting can be as tough as managing engineers at work…

Kelemahan PdPR dan Cadangan Solusi

20 Januari 2021 merupakan tarikh bersejarah di mana sesi persekolahan bermula, dengan sistem Pengajaran dan Pembelajaran di Rumah (PdPR) diteruskan. Rata-rata ibubapa banyak mengeluh dengan operasi PdPR yang dikatakan lemah, dan tidak berjaya menerapkan pengajaran dan pembelajaran.

            Sekiranya situasi pelajar yang tidak hadir ke sekolah ini berterusan, beberapa potensi masalah bisa timbul. Antaranya ialah:

Pengajaran dan pembelajaran silibus tidak sempurnaKesukaran mengajar dan komunikasi ketika PdPR
Kesukaran mendapat fokus pelajar ketika PdPR
Masalah capaian internet dari sisi pengajar dan pelajar
Masa yang terhad
Bahan pembelajaran tidak mencukupi  
Hilang minat belajarKelemahan sistem pengajaran dan pembelajaran
Tiada unsur galakan, motivasi, saingan, kerana belajar berseorangan di rumah
Tiada pantauan, lebih-lebih lagi ibubapa bekerja, atau tidak mampu menguruskan hal pembelajaran ramai anak dalam suatu masa  
Hilang kemahiran dan keyakinan diri untuk komunikasi dan sosialTiada komunikasi dengan orang luar, terutama dengan rakan-rakan sebaya.
Tiada sistem yang menggalakkan penyuaraan pendapat seperti di sekolah.  
Cenderung tidak mampu mengikut suatu sistem, atau jadualHanya berada di rumah tanpa jadual yang tetap, dan hidup tanpa peraturan.
Tiada pantauan, lebih-lebih lagi ibubapa bekerja, atau tidak mampu menguruskan hal pembelajaran ramai anak dalam suatu masa.  
Lemah jasmaniTiada aktiviti riadah, fizikal, sebaliknya hanya banyak duduk dengan gajet, yang boleh menyebabkan obesiti, dan kerosakan penglihatan.  
Ketagihan gajetTiada aktiviti lain yang mahu dibuat (terutama kerana berseorangan, dan hilang minat untuk melakukan perkara lain).
Sistem PdPR sendiri memerlukan penggunaan gajet, meskipun bagi kanak-kanak sekolah rendah.  
Terpengaruh dengan tabiat negatifTerlalu banyak masa di rumah dan tanpa pantauan menyebabkan banyak masa terluang, banyak tidur, terdedah kepada bahan lucah.
Sistem PdPR sendiri seolah memberi alasan pelajar sentiasa memegang gajet, dan bersendirian di dalam bilik, dengan alasan belajar dan tidak mahu diganggu.  


Namun begitu, sistem persekolahan yang sudah lama kita gunakan selama ini, tidak mungkin dapat kembali dalam masa terdekat, rentetan penularan virus COVID-19. Oleh itu, kita mungkin berdepan (atau mungkin ramai yang sudahpun terkesan) dengan masalah di atas. Lebih membimbangkan lagi ialah, jumlah pelajar yang akan terjejas akibat kelemahan sistem ini, di mana pelajar di seluruh negara, dari Tahun 1 sehingga Tingkatan 5, untuk sekurang-kurangnya 1 tahun sesi persekolahan. Boleh dikatakan satu generasi rakyat Malaysia yang lemah, dek terganggu dengan masalah-masalah di atas, akan muncul menjadi orang dewasa, dan menjadi pemimpin negara kelak.

            Oleh hal yang demikian, semua ibubapa (dan pastinya para guru) mengharapkan solusi dari Kementerian Pendidikan Malaysia untuk mencegah penularan masalah-masalah di atas, atau pun untuk mengubati mereka yang sudahpun dilanda kesan-kesan negatif tersebut.

            Di sini saya sebagai seorang waris pelajar, dengan rendah hati, ingin mengemukakan beberapa cadangan untuk mengatasi kelemahan sistem pendidikan yang terjejas akibat penularan virus COVID-19 ini.

            Saya ingin menekankan, kebanyakan masalah di atas dapat dihindar atau diatasi, dengan 3 perkara penting iaitu, menghentikan penggunaan gajet untuk pembelajaran, memastikan pelajar disibukkan dengan perkara berfaedah, dan yang paling penting sekali ialah, menghadirkan kembali pelajar ke sekolah untuk pembelajaran.

            Umum mempunyai kebimbangan akan risiko jangkitan virus COVID-19 beramai-ramai di sekolah akibat kesukaran menjaga penjarakan sosial, atau mengamalkan sanitasi (pelitup muka, membasuh tangan) terutama bagi kanak-kanak. Namun, bahaya intelek dan sosial yang bakal melanda generasi anak-anak ini juga harus diambil serius. Oleh itu, fokus kita sekarang ialah, pertama, untuk mengubah sistem persekolahan agar lebih selamat dari risiko penularan virus COVID-19, dan kedua, bagaimana mengurangkan impak sekiranya berlaku juga situasi jangkitan.

            Di sini saya senaraikan beberapa cadangan rombakan sistem persekolahan untuk mencapai dua sasaran di atas.

  • Tambahkan jumlah kelas dengan jumlah murid yang lebih kecil untuk penjarakan sosial.
  • Maksimakan bilik-bilik yang mungkin tidak digunakan pada masa terdekat, sebagai kelas sementara, seperti Bilik Sumber dan sebagainya.
  • Adakan sesi persekolahan mengikut syif. Murid tidak perlu hadir ke sekolah setiap hari, sebaliknya hadir mengikut syif, juga untuk menepati penjarakan sosial.
  • Untuk mereka yang hadir ke sekolah juga perlu mengikut waktu syif, contohnya berbeza waktu masuk kelas, waktu rehat, waktu pulang, dan sebagainya, untuk mengelakkan pertembungan.
  • Kaji semula topik-topik utama dalam silibus yang perlu diberi penekanan dalam pengajaran dan pembelajaran, dan hanya ajarkan topik-topik ini sahaja. Gunakan buku teks yang sedia ada untuk mengelakkan pembaziran sumber kemanusiaan untuk mengolah silibus lagi dan lagi. Mereka yang ahli dalam setiap subjek perlu sepakat dengan topik-topik yang penting ini, dan cara mengajarnya dengan lebih mudah, dan lebih berfokus.
  • Untuk memberi penekanan kepada topik-topik penting, kemungkinan beberapa subjek yang kurang mustahak perlu diketepikan dahulu untuk memberikan fokus masa pembelajaran dan sumber pengajar yang terhad, kepada yang lebih penting, contohnya subjek Pendidikan Seni.
  • Wujudkan kelas Pendidikan Jasmani sebagai ko-kurikulum (di luar waktu persekolahan), juga dalam bentuk syif. Aktiviti fizikal pelajar tidak wajar dihapuskan, cuma perlu dirombak supaya dilaksanakan dengan penjarakan sosial.
  • Antara waktu risiko penjarakan sosial tinggi ialah ketika pelajar menggunakan tempat dan alat yang dikongsi, seperti kelas, tandas, kantin, penggunaan kerusi meja, pinggan mangkuk kantin, dan sebagainya. Untuk mengurangkan kos sanitasi harian menggunakan bahan sanitasi, saya mencadangkan pembinaan sinki-sinki di laluan pelajar berdekatan kelas, dengan sabun pembasmi kuman. Dengan ini, pelajar-pelajar boleh mencuci tangan, sudu garpu, dan meja selepas makan, dan mencuci meja kerusi masing-masing sebelum pulang. Aktiviti mencuci meja/kerusi beramai-ramai selepas makan dan sebelum pulang ini juga boleh menerapkan tanggungjawab kepada para pelajar.
  • Satu lagi kerisauan ialah berkenaan waktu rehat. Sepertimana yang diamalkan dalam sesi pembelajaran akhir tahun 2020, semua pelajar hendaklah teruskan makan di kelas. Untuk ini, waktu rehat perlu dipanjangkan sedikit untuk memberi masa pembersihan selepas makan. Untuk mereka yang tidak membawa bekalan dan perlu membeli di kantin, saya mencadangkan pihak kantin membuka meja jualan makanan bungkus di setiap tingkat (atau selang satu tingkat), untuk mengurangkan pergerakan pelajar. Atau lebih baik, disediakan troli jualan dari kelas ke kelas. Diingatkan waktu rehat pelajar adalah berselang-seli mengikut kelas, maka perkumpulan di meja penjualan boleh dielakkan.
  • Di sini syif pelajar dan pengajar perlu diatur sebaik-baiknya untuk mengelakkan pertembungan syif. Hal ini penting untuk mengurangkan impak sekiranya jangkitan COVID-19 berlaku juga. Sebaik-baiknya guru yang sama mengajar satu-satu syif sahaja, namun kepakaran guru dalam subjek masing-masing pasti memerlukan guru subjek itu berjumpa pelajar dari syif yang lain, terutama untuk subjek sekolah menengah. Pada pendapat saya, penjarakan sosial pelajar sekolah menengah lebih mudah dikawal, dan kekuatan imuniti pelajar sekolah menengah mungkin lebih baik (hanya pandangan, dan bukan dari sebarang fakta) maka risiko penularan virus COVID-19 menjadi lebih rendah.
  • Bagi anak-anak yang ibubapanya bekerja, yang perlu ke sekolah, mungkin juga perlukan perkhidmatan bas dan transit. Namun dengan mengadakan sesi persekolahan mengikut syif, jumlah pelajar sehari-hari dapat dikurangkan (pelajar yang lain duduk di rumah).

Dalam cadangan ini, tidak berlaku isu kekurangan tenaga pengajar kerana pertambahan kelas, kerana jumlah pelajar yang hadir ke sekolah bukanlah seratus peratus dan hanyalah mengikut syif. Juga ditegaskan di sini, guru-guru belerja di sekolah seperti biasa, hanya pelajar yang masuk mengikut syif untuk mengurangkan jumlah pelajar pada satu-satu masa. Updated.

Continue reading “Kelemahan PdPR dan Cadangan Solusi”

The common mistake executives make about meetings, and how you can avoid it

So much time is spent on holding meetings. While the employer is not paying us for having meetings, some formal discussions and announcements are necessary in order to make a certain decision.

Many executives fall into the trap of furiously preparing for a meeting, yet become frustrated when the whole presentation or proposal is totally rejected after presenting in a meeting.

This is because they make the mistake of believing that a meeting is a platform to discuss.

The truth is, no one likes to make decisions after a one hour bombardment of information from another party.

Decision making is comfortably done when a person has enough information and time to weigh the advantage and risks.

This is why, the real negotiation and discussions, are done prior to meetings. The more experienced executives and leader know, that the most guaranteed way to receive a greenlight to their proposal in a meeting is, to discuss with the concerned parties in advance, separately if needed. Details are laid over before the real meeting, and concerns are reviewed in advance. The official meeting only works as an official one hour with all parties, to go through all information together, and officially make the decision.

So the next time you have that brilliant idea to share in a meeting, don’t spend your precious time in preparing the slides. Instead, approach the concerned parties in advance, discuss and negotiate concerns before you step into the meeting. You’ll find the next 1 hour presentation and discussion a real breeze.

The truth about job burnout and how to spot it

We’ve all been through the Monday mornings,

“Ohhh it’s Monday already? I want to go back to sleep…”

The Monday blues – the feeling of not wanting to go to work after a weekend.

It’s a normal feeling for everyone, but when every morning is a suffer to get up to work, and the 20-minutes drive to work seems so heavy, and the 9 (or what, 14?) hours at work is dreadful, and then even after coming home from work you can’t function after feeling exhausted physically and emotionally – it’s a job burnout.

A job burnout is an overloaded (or sometimes under loaded) feeling at work, which causes fatigue, first physically, and ultimately emotionally. Left untreated, it can cause exhaustion and the sense of overwhelming, loss in productivity, create a toll in relationships, and finally demolish mental health.

A job burnout does not happen overnight. It is a gradual process, with the causes accumulating the stress, until one day one feels overwhelmed and that none of their efforts seem worthy.

It is important to detect the signs of burnout and take actions to steer away from it. In this post, I will share the signs and stages of burnout. See if you have any.

Continue reading “The truth about job burnout and how to spot it”

3 interesting reasons why storytelling is a valuable skill

Remember those days back in school where we had storytelling competitions?

You had to stand in front of everyone on the stage, and tell that “Hare and Tortoise” story with those props – a rabbit stuffed doll and a tortoise figure.

Oh how we hated the sickening butterflies fluttering in our stomach. No one said there was going to be so many people in the audience. How we practiced and rehearsed until Mommy too remembers the whole story.

Little did we know that that story telling competition is one of the most crucial skills we need to learn to be a grown up. Here are three reasons why.

Continue reading “3 interesting reasons why storytelling is a valuable skill”

Unlocking the secret drive to success – and revealing the 3 questions to find it


If there is one thing all success stories have in common, it is passion.

When you love what you are doing, you would go through all odds, in order to pursue it. It’s what drives you.

Everyone has heard that Thomas Edison failed at making a thousand light bulbs before succeeding to make one. We have heard failure stories behind every successful man, but it is the strength they have to come back and stand up and face the challenges, that brought them to where they are now.

Why do you need passion to succeed?

In every area, be it in life, or even career, we need 3 things to make it work.

knowledge, hardwork, and simple chance

In order to find that knowledge you need, you must want to learn it.

In order to do the tasks you need, you must want to do it.

And when chances come against our way, you must want to overcome it to stand up again.

There are also a lot of books around that I would highly recommend reading to charge up your passion.


This is a simple book that spells 3 things in order to be fully charged in life:

  1. Meaning – this is finding out the deeper purpose in your life, a stronger reason than cash, to work, and what do you intend to do for the society and the world
  2. Interactions – this is about keeping good relationships
  3. Energy – this is about staying healthy

Rath talks about Meaning, in his book. This is basically passion. One must find out what he wants to do, in order to give his most effort and love, to achieve success.


This is a simple management book that is more than the title suggests. In his book, Peshawaria proposed 3 expectations of workers, which is simply put as RED – role, environment, and development.

In Role, Peshawaria suggests that every leader must understand each staff’s role, get to know what drives his passion, and give him the road to achieve it. If a person’s passion aligns with his job, he will most likely have the vigor to work hard to success.


In Japan, there is something called the ikigai. It is a concept of living a long and happy life, by creating a balance between what you love to do, and what you are good at. Ikigai is finding the optimum point with what you love (your passion), what the world needs (your mission), what you are good at (your vocation), and what you can get paid for (your profession).

All these concepts talk about finding what you love to do (passion) in order to succeed, but how do you find out your passion?

First, you need to sit down and spend some time alone to learn more about yourself. Believe me, it will save you a lifetime of unnecessary dissatisfaction in life, so do take a minute to do this.

Take a pen and paper and think deep. Answer below questions about yourself.

  1. INTEREST – what do you want to do?
  2. NEEDS – what do the society, the world need?
  3. STRENGTHS – what are you good at?

When you answer these questions, you will know what you want to do in life. And you will know how you can contribute to the world, and I know you will agree if I say making other people happy, can be a huge self-satisfaction. About your strength, once you’ve found what you’re good at, invest to make it stronger. It is useless to learn things you were never good at (high likely because you never liked doing it), but investing to become a master in what you’re already good at, to learn more about something you already love doing, can be highly motivational.

I recommend everyone, especially young jobseekers, to sit down and do this self-exploration, before seeking jobs. You will know more about yourself, and find more suitable jobs for yourself. For the experienced, reflect on your past works, and see if you’re going the right direction.

Find a higher calling than cash, make work a purpose, not a place.


If you want to talk to someone about finding your deeper purpose in life, you can contact the author by whatsapp.

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